Last week we discussed common mistakes that women make when dating. Today, we're addressing men's shortcomings when it comes to being a successful dater.
Adrienne C. Laursen, LMFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of The Engagement Coach, is walking us through the top five mistakes men make that can send women packing!
Here are 5 dating mistakes men make that scare women away:
1. You're Overly Focused On Sex!
It's no secret that most men would prefer to skip the dating resume conversation and get right to the sex! But a woman worth dating is a woman worth waiting for. It's important to show her respect and to make sure this relationship is something that will work out, before you become sexually intimate. If you're too pushy about having sex, or try the sex guilt-trip, it's going to backfire. She will let you know when she's ready, and if she feels respected, it will likely be sooner than you think.
2. You Become Possessive and Jealous!
There is nothing worse than having a possessive and jealous boyfriend! Not only is it annoying, but it can be downright scary in some situations. You know who you are… you're the guy who calls and texts until she answers. You're the guy who doesn't want her hanging out with male coworkers or friends. You really need to take a step back and identify the root of your jealousy issues (i.e. Did your mom cheat on your father? Do you have an ex-girlfriend that cheated on you?, etc.).
3. You're Cheap!
Here's the problem with being cheap. . . most men who are cheap can't admit it, or don't recognize they possess this less than desirable quality. While most women like to believe they can pay their own way and afford their own expensive dinners, they still like a man who can wine and dine them and take care of things. If you're always complaining about money and how expensive things are, she's going to think of all the things in the future that you won't be willing to invest in as well (i.e. a ring, a home, etc.). So, take her out, pay for dinner, and don't complain about it! It doesn't have to be at the most expensive restaurant in town, but it's nice to show her you CAN and WANT to plan something special.
4. You Can't Stop Talking About Your Ex!
Women don't want to be reminded of the last girl you dated, slept with, brought home to mom, etc. So stop talking about her! No girl wants to be the one to help you get over your ex, and she certainly doesn't want to be compared to her every time you're together. So, table the "ex" conversations and save them for your friends or your therapist!
5. You're Just TOO Nice!
When you're the "nice guy", it's hard to hear that you need to not be so nice in order to make a relationship successful. But, there is some truth to this unoriginal advice. Being too nice turns a girl off very quickly! For some dysfunctional reason, women like a challenge. If you're always pleasing her and attending to her every need, she's going to get annoyed and start looking for someone who isn't so nice. It's important to be yourself but consider dialing it back a little. Relationships are always about give and take and it's important that you're not the only one giving.
For more information on Adrienne's counseling services and relationship tips, please visit her website at www.TheEngagementCoach.com