5 dating mistakes that keep women single - KMSP-TV

5 dating mistakes that keep women single

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Last week was "National Singles Week" and Adrienne C. Laursen, LMFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of The Engagement Coach, is here to lend a helping hand to all the single ladies!

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "why is dating so hard for me when it seems so easy for my girlfriends"? Do your relationships always tend to end in the same way and you often wonder what you're doing wrong? Well, the admitting the problem may be with YOU can be difficult, but what better way to shake up your dating routine than with these helpful tips!

Here are 5 dating mistakes that keep a lot of women single:

1. You're Having Sex Too Soon!

Is there a magical number of dates you should go on before deciding to sleep with someone? No, but there is some common sense to the concept! Having sex with a man right away may feel like a good idea, because you think it's necessary to keep him around. But, if he doesn't have any emotional connection to you, you're not going to be different from any other girl he's sleeping with. My advice: Wait until you've had enough dates with him to get a good sense of who he is and if he's really what you want.

2. You're A Negative Nelly!

Did you know that your thoughts determine your feelings about people, events, etc. in life? So, if your thoughts about dating and men in general are always negative and gloom & doom, guess how you're going to feel about dating? Everyone likes someone who is upbeat and positive, and has a good outlook on life and relationships. Before going on your next date, focus on positive thoughts, even if you have to force it a little.

3. You Think Too Highly Of Yourself!

Pay careful attention to how much you're talking about yourself on a date. I know dating can feel like a job interview after you do it often enough {I know this firsthand, I was a Match.com-er for over a year!}, but in the effort of being successful, you have to balance letting someone get to know you with leaving something for later. If you rattle off your entire life story on the first date, what's left for the 2nd date? Answer: There won't be a 2nd date!

4. You Think Too Little Of Yourself!

Self-deprecation can be charming or funny in small doses, but if you have a really low sense of self-esteem or self-confidence, it's likely going to turn off any potential suitors. A healthy relationship consists of two partners who have moderate-to-high levels of self-confidence and assertiveness. If a date senses that you're always hard on yourself, or always putting yourself down, he's probably moving on sooner rather than later. Try working on your confidence level by making a list of your positive qualities. Can't think of any? Ask your friends, family, coworkers, etc. and write their answers down. {It's ok if you don't believe them, start there and read the list to yourself every day for a month!}

5. You're Too Picky {or} You Always Settle!

If you've got a long laundry list of qualities a potential partner must possess, it's not likely you'll find him. Or, if you settle for anyone who breathes and drives a car, in hopes you'll make him Mr. Perfect, it won't happen. Make a Wants & Needs List so you know just what you're looking for, keep it short and then stick to it! Come up with 3-5 items that are not negotiable {no more} and if you meet a hopeful Mr. Right, and he doesn't meet your criteria, keep walking. And if he does, stay put long enough to find out if he's the one you've been waiting for.

For more information on Adrienne's counseling services and free relationship tips, please visit her website at www.TheEngagementCoach.com

All information provided by Adrienne C. Laursen, LMFT, "The Engagement Coach", is intended for informational purposes only and is not to be taken as advice: therapeutic, legal or otherwise.

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