Premarital counseling the second -- or third -- time around - KMSP-TV

Premarital counseling the second -- or third -- time around

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Are you giving marriage a second or third try {like recently engaged Jennifer Aniston} and think you've got it all figured out? Premarital counseling is important for every couple, but even more crucial for couples that have been previously divorced. Adrienne C. Laursen, LMFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of The Engagement Coach, discusses the importance and effectiveness of premarital counseling.

What Premarital Counseling Involves:

Strengthening Your Relationship's Communication Skills: Being able to actively listen and validate your partner's thoughts and feelings is essential to long term success in marriage. Premarital counseling teaches you how to communicate effectively and identifies how the two of you are likely missing each other's communication styles.

Discussing Marriage Roles & Expectations: It is very common for each partner to have different expectations of what the upcoming marriage should look like. Many couples don't even have a good role model for what a healthy marriage is. Discussing expectations and preferences for things like finances, chores, sexual intimacy, family involvement and parenting will allow you to have more open communication in the years to come.

Resolving Conflicts: Every couple has conflict, but most couples don't have the skills to actually resolve their conflicts. Premarital counseling teaches couples how conflict can be healthy and how to handle it effectively.

Identifying Family of Origin Influences: Talking about how each of your parents handled marriage and/or divorce is extremely important, as those experiences have a lot of influence on your views of marriage.

Discussing Personal, Couple & Family Goals: It is important to discuss your long term personal, couple and family goals. What do you want to accomplish for yourself that will make you happy, what do you want to accomplish as a couple, and what are your goals for your children?

The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage

According to different sources, the average divorce rate is 50 percent for first marriages, 60-67 percent for second marriages, and around 74 percent for third marriages.

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