Having a baby is hard work, so do new moms deserve a present for pushing out the baby? Adrienne C. Laursen, LMFT, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of The Engagement Coach, talks about this new trend and what to expect when you're expecting.
Why a Push Present Is a Good Idea
A push present is a nice way to say "thank you" to your wife or girlfriend for keeping her body healthy for 9+ months. Let's face it, the job is hers whether she wants it or not, so putting some thought into a nice gift shows your support and thanks for everything her body has been through.
Important to Set Expectations and Be Reasonable
Would every woman like to receive a 10-carat diamond ring like Rachel Zoe, or $30,000 of fine Italian jewelry like Jessica Simpson, after pushing for so many hours? I'm guessing, yes! However, most of us can't afford elaborate gifts, especially with the cost of a newborn and today's economy. So be reasonable, set realistic expectations, and talk about what gifts are acceptable and within your price range. A bouquet of flowers or a handwritten letter can go a long way. And if you can afford the fancy stuff, knock yourself out!
Isn't The New Baby Enough?
It's important to remember that a push present isn't about the baby. Yes, a brand new baby is a wonderful miracle and an enormous gift in itself, but the present isn't designed to show up the baby's birth. It's designed to say "Hey mom, you're really important to me and I couldn't have this baby without you, and I want you to know that I love you and appreciate all of the excrutiating pain you just went through!" It doesn't have to be all or nothing and honestly, I can't believe any woman wouldn't want a "thank you" gift from their partner.
Don't Expect Him to Think of This on His Own
While the concept of a "push present" is fairly popular right now, I think it's important to let your guy know that you would like something special. Give your partner hints about what you'd like. Just because you have to point him in the right direction, doesn't give your gift-to-be any less meaning.