Heidi Klum & Seal Are Getting a Divorce After 6 Years – What Happened? Here to tell you What Gives Your Marriage Lasting Power is Adrienne C. Laursen, LMFT, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and owner of The Engagement Coach.
All marriages go through ups & downs, but there are certain characteristics that give some marriages the upper hand.
You really need to be friends at the core.
- Sex and admiration come & go, and if you're friends at the foundational level, you have something to fall back on
- There will be days, months and maybe even years that can be difficult to get through, but if you don't have a solid foundation as friends, it will be even harder to get back on track
You have to like each other.
- Liking your partner is different than loving your partner, and you really need to "Like" the person you're with, and enjoy their inherent values & qualities.
- It's much easier to focus on your partner's weaknesses, and to remember what you don't like about him/her. Try being mindful of what strengths your partner possesses so the next time someone asks you what you like about them, you can answer without hesitation.
You need to have similar life goals & re-evaluate them over time.
- Having similar goals for your careers, children, home life, etc. is really important when looking at a marriage long term.
- Equally important is re-evaluating those goals over time, to ensure you're both still wanting the same things, and because your relationship will change many times over the years.
You need to be good at handling & resolving conflict
- Happy couples are able to exit an argument, take time outs to avoid hurting each other, and make repair attempts before things get out of control (humor, "I'm on your side", backing down, compliments, etc.)
- Handling the conflict is important, but so is resolving it. Being able to come to a resolution that you're both satisfied with presents its challenges.