One more thing about Ozzie Guillen - or as one Miami sportswriter called him Tuesday, "The Human Pinata."
I do think Ozzie's long, rambling, self-flogging apology was a lot more effective than the brief, emotionless, prepared statements we've gotten from other public figures in trouble - like Tiger Woods.
I hope Ozzie really meant everything he said - except for that one statement about this being the last time he ever talks politics. That would be a shame for two reasons:
First of all, the only chance he has to rehabilitate his image and win back all the Cuban Americans he's angered, is to learn more about the brutal history of Fidel Castro and the grim living conditions that continue to exist in Cuba today, and speak out about that as much as he possibly can.
The other reason he shouldn't give up talking politics is - I hate to see any muzzle on Ozzie. He's too entertaining.
The most exciting thing most baseball managers do is occasionally spit a sunflower seed at an umpire. Ozzie is fun and, for the most part, good for the game. What other manager could come up with statements like:
"This country can't survive without immigrants. A lot of people in this country want to be on the computer and send e-mails to people. We do the hard work."
"I get drunk because I'm happy we win or I get drunk because I'm very sad and disturbed because we lose."
"Why do we have Japanese interpreters and we don't have a Spanish one? They take advantage of us."
"I'm the Charlie Sheen of baseball, minus the drugs and the prostitutes."
"In the 80s and 90s people made a lot of money and built houses. The first thing they put in their houses was a gym. In my house, the first thing I built was a bar. The second thing I built was another bar."
"I puke every time I go to Wrigley Field. You're going to take batting practice and the rats are bigger than pigs out there. I think the rats are lifting weights."
"What attracted me to my wife is she's hot. She's also nice. She's a great mom. But that comes after she's hot."
He does get off with a good one now and then.
As for his five game suspension - which ends when the Cubs play in Miami next Tuesday - if the Marlins are smart, they'll donate the $70,000 or so (that Ozzie won't be getting) to Cuban American organizations in Florida.
Money not only talks, it heals.
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