Investigators: The Day That She Broke

ROSEVILLE, Minn. - On a summer day in 2008, we shook our heads in disbelief when we heard the story of a little girl from Roseville who ran bleeding from her home, crying for help. Her mom had stabbed her and her sister and then slit her own throat. All three survived. Now that mother is talking from prison. The girls live out of state now and the family caring for them is aware Sylvia Sieferman did this interview.

Sometimes we don't want to listen to people like Sieferman.
We don't want to hear them try to explain what really can't or shouldn't be explainable. But that's not what this story is about.
Trish Van Pilsum sat and listened to Sieferman talk about how her life as a loving mother fell apart. She realized how much there is to learn from what happened to her and more importantly her children on the day she broke

Sylvia: “My intention, if you can call it that, my intention was to kill all three of us. I slashed my own throat as well and wasn't expected to survive. I wasn't hurting them because I was angry. I wasn't hurting them to lash out. I seriously wanted the three of us to be dead so that we wouldn't have to face the problem any more.” Sylvia said.

What problem could be so overwhelming that you would take a knife to your girls whom you'd worked so hard to bring to this country from China?

Sylvia: She was just a delight to be around. I loved reading with her and playing with her and playing with her. I just had a really good time.
Trish: And her name?
Sylvia: Her name was Hannah. Hannah Rose.

The youngest was named Linnea.

Sylvia: She's a very lively personality, um bouncier than Hannah. More volatile than Hannah, fit in well with the family. She grieved a lot. She had been with a foster family in China and she missed them and felt it keenly.

Trish: Tell me about your love for your girls.
Sylvia: I loved them more than I've ever loved anybody else in my life. I loved them as one loves children, you know that bond that I think most parents have with their children. But I also loved them and admired them as people. They were both just really nice, warm, loving, smart people. They got more and more entwined in my life and just couldn't imagine life without them.

Couldn't imagine life at all

Sylvia: We were physically affectionate. Lots of hugs
Trish: Did you say I love you?
Sylvia: We said that every day and every night.

Trish:It's very hard to reconcile your love for them and what you did.
Sylvia: It's very hard. It's impossible for me to believe. I don't think I ever wanted to hurt them, to harm them. I thought of it as I wanted it all to come to an end. There was no way I could take care of them any more and I snapped.

Trish: so what happened?
Sylvia: I lost my job. A lot of people lose their jobs. That's true and we were fine for a few years...

Temp jobs and consulting work plugged the hole but not completely.
Sylvia: I didn't really start to get worried for a couple of years. The jobs lined up one after the other pretty well.
But just before she'd lost her job she'd done a big remodel on her house.
Added a second story with enough bedrooms for every one and a nice big family room light and open.
Sylvia: I knew it would be a stretch but I didn't forsee any other expenses.

She couldn't afford the payments and put the renovated house on the market. Before it sold she bought a townhouse
Sylvia: We all made the same assumption, that it would sell quickly and it didn't.

The housing bust was just beginning. For Sylvia it was the beginning of the unraveling of it all.
Before the house went into foreclosure she hoped for a short sale. The bank wouldn't budge.
Sylvia: Several prospective buyers got away while we were waiting for decisions. Trish: How was that for you?
Sylvia: Nerve wracking, by then I was starting to eat into my 401k savings. I had exhausted my regular savings account.

The pressure deepened her depression.

Sylvia: I was drinking.
Trish: How much?
Sylvia: A lot. I had been a daily drinker for a long time and this seemed to exacerbate it. I would drink even in the day time just kind of sit around in the evening with my fingers crossed hoping things would work out.
Trish: Did the girls know you were drinking?
Sylvia: They did know. I didn't hide it from them.

A couple of years before that summer she had seen a psychiatrist and went on anti-depressants.
Sylvia: That was when I really started to feel desperate.
Trish: What do you mean desperate?
Sylvia: I was feeling like a failure.

And terribly, terribly isolated. She was missing the support of former coworkers. She had no close family to speak of. None in town at all. just a few neighbors she could talk to.

Neighbor: She actually did say things.

They took her seriously. Took her to the hospital. She ended up in the psyche ward but only for six days.

Neighbor: unfortunately, it fell through the filters.

Sylvia: I had a good lead on a job and I was very eager to get out of the hospital and pursue that particular job lead. I remember arguing